If you were to come over for a cup of coffee…
… I would probably talk to you about how crazy life has been the past few months. I feel like we are overwhelmed and anxious to get to a point where it all comes down. I had a ton of travel for work at the beginning of the year, Jerry is in his last semester of grad school, remodeling the bathroom, his volleyball season just started (so most nights he doesn’t walk in until after 10pm), balancing school schedules and after school activities… and we are at that point where the weather makes you anxious… you catch teases of the spring one day and snowing the next. I desperately want the kids to go outside and run off energy… open the windows and give our house some fresh air after the long winter season… And I think we are all just counting down until the days of summer… where life seems to pause a bit. We cut back on activities… the boys are home with their dad… and weekends are left unplanned so we can spend time in our pool.
… I would probably tell you that I was talking to a friend the other day and I got accused of having my crap together. Which if you know me… I hate that. I realize I am guilty of sharing the pretty photos on social media and you capture those moments… and share them. But our life is just as messy as yours. We have good days and bad days… and everything in between. The house is always under construction from projects. I lose my patience as a mom… the boys are boys… they are rowdy, whiny, emotional… they can never get their shoes on the first time they are asked. or the second or the third for that matter. When we are running late and in a hurry… like clockwork… my oldest has to poop. and you cannot rush a pooping child. So all you moms out there anxious for potty training… I promise you… diapers have their perks. When you are late to work and you have a meeting at 8AM and you are sitting in the hallway waiting on your son.. who is singing twinkle twinkle little star without a care in the world… and all you can do… is wait.
… I would tell you my whole world revolves around my boys. My birthday is coming up and my husband asked what I wanted to do… and I said.. well whatever the boys want to do for my birthday (and then he gives me this annoyed look) but honestly.. .that’s what I want to do… whatever they want. And I have a feeling it will be Lego Land ;) Some parents are big on the whole… I don’t want my kids thinking the world revolves around them. And honestly… I don’t want the kids thinking the world revolves around them… but I do want them to know that my world revolves around them though.
… I preach not to judge. And everyone is doing their best. And I stand by that. but I have realized … with that though. You have to find your people. Finding mom friends is the HARDEST thing to do… and finding ones that you connect with… almost impossible. And I have realized which types of moms I can relate to. But I have also realized the types of moms I don’t fit in with. And its not judgment per say… but more of a realization of who I am in this moment of my life. I tend to need the mom friends that fall in the middle. Where you try and feed your kid healthy options – but you also still hand them a bag of Cheetos without flinching. Because at the end of the day… they will survive. The mom friends who watch their kids fall down… and you sit and wait. holding your breath… or you might yell out a few encouraging words of “You are okay… You are okay” and sit… because you aren’t moving unless they cry… The mom friends who understand the car just isn’t going to be clean no matter what you do at this stage of life… because you vacuum it out and two days later there are crackers somehow everywhere and you don’t even remember having crackers in the house… but somehow they appear… The mom friends who don’t talk about milestones or test scores… or anything else that leads to competitive parenting… who realize… great… your kid started walking at 9 months… and mine started at 14 months.. but they are both standing there on the playground picking their noses at 2 years old… so really… nothing was won there. But on the other hand mom friends that constantly support you and point out how awesome each other’s kids are… Where I can say.. “I wish my son was as brave as your daughter” and they return without missing a beat “I wish she was as patient as your son” because you need mom friends that see the best in your kid… and care about your kids and their well beings. I walk the line on parenting… I enjoy staying in the middle. I am not an extreme parent in most cases.. but I am raising two Momma’s Boys… and well I am not sorry about that.
… But I am human. I mess up. I lose patience. I rush. I get frustrated… but I usually can look at them and remember… it is not going to be like this forever. I need to put down my work and look at what he is showing me. and listen fully… undivided attention. And even though the theme song from Pokémon makes the hair on my neck stand up… I listen and try to learn the characters… because I remind myself that to keep this relationship… I have to be here. I have to be interested… I have to listen… respond… my role as his mom is to just be here. right here. in this moment with him. Our relationship will build and build and build if I learn to know him.. at every stage. Be okay with changes… be okay when he likes something that I may not understand. He’s not here to fit into my world… it’s my job to learn his. and some days I am tired.. and its the last thing I want to do is learn about another Pokémon character… but I suck it up and I do it.. because I realize this all matters. these little moments matter.
… There are so many things I want for my kids in this world… if I were to go through the list… it would be overwhelming… but really I just want them to be happy and kind. I want to raise my boys to know that their best friend is here under the same roof… and that as brothers… they always have a partner… to support each other… and be there. Right now I watch as Hudson mimics every single thing Maddux does. And I watch Maddux want to help Hudson with everything he is doing… which then annoys Hudson because he wants to be big like his brother… but I see it. They are there for each other… and as a mom I think that is one of the things that is the most inspiring… watching the relationship grow among your children. Stressing about how to nurture that relationship. When to sit back and let them work it out… when to step in and intervene. This is my biggest stressors. I worry that I may not be encouraging it in the right ways.. and when I am no longer here on this earth… I just want them to have each other.
… I would probably tell you that we should have our bathroom done this weekend. Which means we will be sleeping in our bed for the first time in like a month. I am so excited I might cry. Seriously. You have no idea. We forced ourselves to do the bathroom first. I tend to focus on the house projects for the kids and put our bathroom/bedroom area as the lowest priority. But we decided we wouldn’t do that this time.. and we contemplating starting the basement instead.. but I am glad we pushed through on our original plan… The kids will be outside playing all summer and then hopefully this fall we can start up and get the basement going. They definitely need a playroom this fall/winter. Well mom needs to be able to throw them down there so the mess is contained in that area at least. because its hard keeping up with it in our living space.
… What about you friend? How do you maintain toy storage? Any tips for a mom that doesn’t have a playroom at the moment… or a room for the toys? we are drowning over here and I am running out of creative ideas to contain the mess.
… Until next week sweet friend.