If you were to come over for a cup of coffee…
And to be fair this post is late. But I drink coffee all day. So if we are real friends… you understand that coffee is not just for the mornings but basically all day until 10 minutes before bed. Or depending on the day… sometimes I change coffee out for wine.
… I would probably tell you that I waited 3 months for a clock from my favorite local store. I bought it.. And when they took it down it broke. I picked it up yesterday and was SO EXCITED! Well I had it home for an hour… before the boys knocked it over and broke the clock on the back to pieces. Maddux’s poor little face. He felt so bad and cried. And as much as I wanted to cry… I had to console him and its moments like that … it really puts it all in perspective, how much those things don’t matter. And it can be fixed. So taking a minute… a few deep breaths.. And consoling a little 7 year old boy was far more important. So now I just need to figure out how to fix it. but can you believe the IRONY? I waited months for this to get in… just to break it. You just have to find it hilarious at this point.
… I would probably talk to you about how I have found the biggest struggle of motherhood for me. I do tons of things wrong as a mom according to different opinions. I mean some may see me as doing it right, while others could be completely against my antics. But if I am confident at anything in this life… it’s being a mom. I don’t beat myself up for losing my cool… and over reacting. Because well that’s life. I don’t beat myself up for giving in to whining… or bribing. I mean we all do the best we can do and in that moment we do what we need to do. My kids are happy… and my relationship with them is great.
… People talk about their “love language” and I don’t know if they all read the book or not. but I can already tell you my love language is physical contact… and that goes across the bridge. I am a person who likes to hug. I kiss and hug on my kids every chance I get. They love snuggling up and watching movies… and I honestly hope they never outgrow it. I hope I raise boys that know the importance of affection… and hopefully someday their future wives thank me for it.
… but back to my weakness. Maddux has been having a hard time in school with his class. Now his teacher has admittedly said “it’s not the greatest group of kids” and being married to a teacher there’s only one of her… and she can’t control all of it. But I have to say who is this kid “calling you a girl” Or “calling you stupid” or making fun of you. And he shows me in this class picture… and I am a reasonable person. I keep emotions away from my kids. I try SO HARD to not talk bad about anyone in front of them. And I am telling you … it almost hurt to not respond with adolescent remarks back on these kids.
… Now this Friday post is about being honest. So I am not going to lie to you. The things I thought were not nice. And I realize they were about “innocent kids” but guys… what a bunch of jerks. I have had the hardest time with this. I hate sending my kid to school for this reason. And its not like I want my kid in a bubble but I don’t think in first grade we should have to deal with stuff like this and I definitely don’t want another kid to dull any shine out of my kid. Because my kid is not perfect. He will talk your ear off… he never stops talking. He has a hard time being still always on the go and into everything. He never listens to me the first time I tell him to do anything. BUT that’s who he is with me. He is A GOOD kid. He is so ridiculously kind hearted… and I am not even saying that to take credit for it. It’s just the way his little soul works. He doesn’t make fun of kids… he’s not mean… and he wouldn’t think to call someone a girl for having long hair.
… I don’t think I should have to teach him that some people are mean this early in life. And I’m telling you…. It’s getting to me guys. And I am honestly not just talking my kid up. If you are reading this and you know Maddux… you know where I am coming from. He honestly is accepting and sweet and good. He cares so much about other people’s feelings.
.. Now to be honest he is handling better than me. He tells me “Mom, those kids are not nice to anyone. I don’t talk to them. And I know my hair is cool. It’s okay if they don’t like it”. And seriously I could learn a lot from my 7 year old kid. But this isn’t just a few kids in the class. It’s like half the class. And when I asked the teacher about it and she responds with… “well, it’s not a great group” what do you do? So here we are… Maddux is handling it like a mature confident adult… and meanwhile I want to meet these parents of bullies on the playground and show them I can be a bully. Okay. That’s not right. And honestly I would probably get killed….
… but guys. It is the hardest thing. I can’t handle it. And I don’t want to go too into detail on here on the incidents. But it’s been a rough year. And I realize I haven’t dealt with anything yet when it comes to this type of stuff. How am I going to handle this? I need a support group. Who wants to be real mom friends that keeps me sane?
… But that’s enough on that topic. Otherwise I will get too upset. Somedays I feel like Maddux’s view on differences and the way he’s so open… he could make a difference in this mixed up world.
… I would probably tell you about how Maddux is having class on his first communion this weekend. He takes first communion the following week. Well on Christmas Eve… Jerry took Hudson out in the annex area while Maddux and I stayed in service. We went up for Communion and the priest asked if Maddux could? And I was like.. “yeah”. Now I knew that he has never done it before… but I wasn’t raised Lutheran or Catholic so I don’t know all the rules. So he took it… because I thought .. Well maybe this is a Christmas thing. They have never asked before. He usually just gets a blessing. Well. I told Jerry and apparently… I ruined first communion. So I am sure he will tell his whole class about that this weekend.
… I would tell you that Hudson is getting bigger and bigger by the day. He now calls all dogs “Nala” and it melts my heart. That was what Maddux did as well. I love that they call all dogs “Nala” and I know … we have two dogs now. Poor Charlie. But honestly… guys … Hudson and Charlie fight like siblings. It’s crazy. they fight over toys… and a spot on the couch.. And if Charlie looks at Hudson when he is eating… well all hell breaks loose. I am not even kidding. They do love one another. They do. But its seriously like a sibling relationship. Where it goes from loving to hating in less than a second. It’s crazy. But Nala. Nala is the dog that lets the kids use her as a pillow. She walks up and gently licks their face when they are crying. She doesn’t steal their hot dog out of their hands… or run them over outside chasing a ball. Nala is gentle. While Charlie is a giant sized baby herself. And even though right now they fight. I can’t wait to see the relationship between Charlie and Hudson develop over the years. It’s going to be a good one. There are moments…between all the fighting when I can see it.
… I would probably tell you about watching “This Is Us” and how much I love it. Same with everyone else … who doesn’t love it. But this week she made the comment that “He is perfect and she’s a jerk” and seriously that exact sentiment crosses my mind once a month with Jerry. Her little speech to her belly got me. I was sobbing. I would sit there and tell my belly how great of a dad they are both going to have. How perfect he is. How patient and fun. And I would worry that I would be disappointing to them. And I never once questioned Jerry as a father… because as a husband… I hit the lottery… and I knew the boys would realize that immediately. I am sure we all feel like that, identify with a character. And if it’s not with that show.. Some show we watch. We find a character that we empathize with… we see pieces of ourselves in them. Our insecurities… our weakness.. Our strengths. And I loved that she added in that she will protect them… because I feel like as a mom that how we see ourselves. The protector of our babies. And we see it on a different level than dads. Not that its better or worse. Just different. We are emotional and we can’t brush things off and we have this desire to protect… and honestly… I just need to know what happens to Jack… because every time they show Miguel… I get angry. And I know there is going to be more to it. But do you ever go back to that scene in the bar where he is telling Jack how Perfect Rebecca is? How did this happen?
… Anyone else carry their love over from Stars Hollow. I can’t help it. I follow Milo everywhere. Thankfully this show is amazing.
… And with that our visit would be over… Until next week :)