You just turned 5 years old...
You are becoming more and more independent by the day and its scary for me. I want to protect you. Keep your innocence... keep that sweet soul intact.
I am fearful that public school will harden you. I worry about the affects of other kids. Bullies. Because bullies start young. I don't want them to change you.
I have a 5 year old boy who loves showing affection. Believes in hugging and kissing his parents... lots of snuggling... lots of I love yous. Days are filled with loving affection, kind words, and sweet... oh so sweet... moments.
At 5 we had to take you in for your kindergarten exam already. And it got me thinking... worrying... about things out of my control. And I realize ... I am about to begin a hard chapter as a parent. Learning slowly... over time... the older you get... the more I need to sit back and learn to let things work themselves out. Trust in not only myself, but the little man i have raised.
As a parent, I try so hard to teach you to be kind. Above anything, always be kind. I try and raise the little boy that is nice to everyone. And so far... I have succeeded. I have watched from afar, that you, are kind. So very kind. You go out of your way to give out compliments and affection and I cannot even tell you how proud I am at the age of 5 that you have recognized the importance of being nice.
I worry so much that the world around us will harden you. It's my biggest fear. Peer pressure has to be most parent's nightmare. Bullies... Bullies at the age of 32 are my biggest fear.
I remember how hard it was when I was a kid, and now with social media I can't imagine how much worse it is. Kids grow up so fast... too fast and I love that right now you are exactly where you should be.
I hope that we hold onto these days of make believe. The days of you running around the house in super hero costumes fighting imaginary villains. When i watch you... you jump... maybe 3 inches off the ground... and you look at me.. with those bright eyes.... "did you see that mom??? Did you see that?" because you honestly believe you just jumped 4 feet into the are and used black belt ninja moves to take down the red skull.
I hope we hold onto these days of you lining up all your stuffed animals so that they can all watch your favorite movies along side of you. Where you share your popcorn and whisper to your beloved "candy butt" that this next part... is your "favorite part"
I hope we hold onto these days where you are constantly making up the lyrics to your own songs about dinosaurs, superheroes, candy butt, and your parents.
I hope we hold onto these days where your hand drawn T-Rex must be hung up immediately so all people that walk through our home can stop and admire your latest masterpiece. and if they miss it... you make sure you point it out to them.
I hope we hold onto these days where those art pieces are sometimes so abstract that while I am oohing and ahhing over this incredible new piece of artwork... my heart skips a beat when you say... "what is it?" and i have to try and see what you see... and pray to God i get it right... this time :)
I hope that we hold onto these days when you want to try anything and everything. You love trying new things: swimming, hockey, volleyball, karate, tumbling, piano, music, basketball, t-ball, soccer. Its so exciting to see you get out there and try something new with a big smile on your face. (after you get over the shock of the first day... the first day is always rough)
I hope we hold onto these days filled with snuggles and I love yous.
I hope we hold onto these days of exploration. Days filled with treasure hunts, sword fighting, and avoiding the floor because it's "hot lava"
You are my idea of perfection. You are smart, adorable, silly, charismatic, confident, shy, dramatic, brave, strong, gentle, loud, rambunctious, outdoorsy - yet not a fan of getting dirty, loves making people laugh, always on the go, always jumping off anything you can climb, so overly excited to become a big brother, will say anything to make a girl say "aww", stubborn, obsessed with all things animals, and always willing to try something new.
You are growing up so fast little one.
The past five years have come and gone with a blink of an eye.